We had a wicked wind storm last night, the kind where rocking chairs get tipped over and big heavy garbage bins get blown into the street. And so, to prevent the power from going out, I searched the house and dug up several flashlights, which I use to store dead batteries. Then I switched out the dead batteries for all new ones. Tested them to make sure I did an awesome job. Then gave one to each family member. Because we were prepared, the power didn't go out. (My assistant doesn't share my god-like power, so she was electricity-less for 8 hours.)
Also, if I want it to rain? I wash my car.
It's okay, though. It's not going to my head. I know that with great power comes a great urge to pop over to the dark side, and thus far I've only used my power for good.
My sister's power is to find the perfect parking spot, every time. It's uncanny. And a little frightening. She can pull into the Disneyworld parking lot at lunchtime during the height of tourist season and snuggle her car in beside the handicap spaces. When it's ten below zero and spitting snow, she can find a spot about nine feet from the front door. If she gets into a fender bender, her engine dies near a tow truck. It's creepy, man.
Together we can form our own Legion of Doom, complete with the rocket-activated Hall of Doom which, weirdly, thrives in swamps. But, as above, we won't. It would be wrong. Also, who has the time to really commit to being evil? The meetings alone would suck up all our free time.
So fear not, citizens!