I Reward or Punish Libraries

Today, for no good reason except to display my hatred, we're having a contest over at my Facebook page: Why I think my library should have a full set of the Undead series. Or, Why my library should be punished with a full set of the Undead series.

To be serious (not for long, I promise) I talk up libraries all the time. I do that because, as many of you know and have been bored hearing about, I was an Air Force brat. The first thing I'd do in every new town was find the nearest library. Where I'd essentially set up a cot and a pillow (near the water fountain so I'd have someplace to brush my teeth when I got up) and move in until my folks had to pick up, per the United States government, and move again. Love, love, love libraries

One of the nicest compliments I ever received was from a soft-spoken librarian. I was signing some books for her when she told me my books never seem to make it back to the library. What, they'd get lost halfway?

Kind of, she replied. Readers always stole them. "Nobody ever brings a Betsy book back," she told me, trying to hide her alarm at the way tears welled up in my cynical eyes. "They just never make it back." Like in that movie Vertical Limit! Sometimes the mountain killed the Betsy books, like it tried to kill Chris O'Donnell's sister, Robin Tunney!

"Um, no, not like that at all," Shy Librarian, who was quickly being renamed Nervous Twitchy Librarian in my head, replied. "More like...I have to go."

She dashed off (super secret librarian business, probably), but I always remembered what she told me. I should have gone into stern scolding mode upon hearing some of my readers dabbled in petty larceny, but I went into touched weeping mode instead. There was something wrong with my eyes. Probably a recurrence of pinkeye. It was an infection, not proof I'm not dead inside.

Pinkeye, dammit!

Anyhoo. Head over to my FB page to find out how you can reward, or punish, your local libe with the awesomeness that is the Betsy books.

I Talk About How I Talk About Twilight

The poor bastards at Fresh Fiction gave me an open forum to blog about whatever I wanted. Naturally, I blogged about how the huge trend in all things vampire was occasionally inconvenient for me. They're giving away several copies of my new release, UNDEAD AND UNDERMINED.

The scene of the crime:

http://freshfiction.com/page.php?id=3519

Don't be too hard on them. They truly thought I'd be mature and professional from beginning to end, as opposed to shrill and hypocritical. Read it and weep, gang!

I Am Slobberingly Grateful

My editor just e-mailed me; she got her hot little hands on next week's New York Times best-seller list...UNDEAD AND UNDERMINED is #26! Given the fact that I didn't do a book tour, as well as the, uh, controversial nature of the book(s), I was thrilled and grateful.

Thanks a bunch, gang! I (literally) couldn't have done it without you!

I am Bitten by Books

Monday afternoon, I'll be on-line answering reader questions in real-time. The event is below, so bring your questions. Anybody who heads over there and RSVPs *before* the event will get an additional 25 entries into my contest (we're giving away tons of autographed books). So check it out, bay-bees, and I to get the chance to answer your questions.

http://www.bittenbybooks.com/?p=44329

I Deface Books

Just a heads up, I'll be signing books at Uncle Hugo's bookstore in St. Paul, MN, tomorrow (Sat.) from 1:00 to 2:00 p.m. Stop by and say howdy! Or, you know. Just stop by. :-)

http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/ah-davidson-maryjanice.php

They're Right About Me Sucking

UNDEAD AND UNDERMINED released this week, to the anticipation of some and the dismay of others. Either suits me (though, honestly, I prefer anticipation...who wouldn't?) since it's always a relief to get a book out of my brain and onto the shelves (the voices...they never ever stop! help meeeee!). And I've been keeping half an eye on reviews, and have seen pretty much what I expected. The book is selling great, and the reviews are mostly terrible.

I was expecting this because you told me it would happen. To wit: "MJ's latest book sucks rocks, so much so that I know her next book will be really really bad and really really rock-sucky." At least, according to Anonymous. And Anonymous. And Anonymous! Anonymous is everywhere, and all-powerful, and lives to review everything everywhere on the earth. And hates a) my latest books, and b) using the name on their birth certificate. Ever.

Last summer, I got tons and tons of reader mail following UNDEAD AND UNFINISHED. It was a mixed bag: a) awesome turn for the series; I was starting to get a little stale on Betsy, so great job! b) my God, you get paid for this shit? c) not sure about the new direction, but will hang in there to see what you do next. Also, where can I get the shoes Betsy's talking about on page 97?

The ones who hate-hate-HATED the book not only explained to me in great detail how much a) it sucked, b) I sucked, c) all my future books would suck, they confidently predicted my tailspin down the best-seller lists, followed by my head blowing up, SCANNERS style.

I'll admit: it was hard not to take some of that personally. SCANNERS style? Really? But...you don't know me. You've never met me. I'm not saying you wouldn't loathe me in person, just that...you've never met me! SCANNERS style? Not something a little gentler, like FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH style?

So it was with no surprise at all that I saw the number of one and two star reviews by Anonymous and their almighty minions, the Anonymites. After all, it was explained to me many times last year how much a book you never read would suck, suck, suck. It must be terrific to have found you were right!

Right?

Also, good news! UNDEAD AND UNSTABLE will be out July 2012. So don't wait! Begin writing your reviews now, Anonymites.

I'm Everywhere

Tomorrow, July 5, UNDEAD AND UNDERMINED will be out. It'll be out, I tell you! It'll be in Barnes and Noble and Amazon and (some) Borders (may they rest in peace). My point: there's no getting away from me! It, I mean. So flee like a terrified villager with Godzilla snarfing up your back trail. Or, you know, don't. Either way: warned ya!

Off to blow something up,

God Bless America!,

MJ